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warmpockets:

warmpockets:

i’m watching an art theft documentary and they’re interviewing this art history professor from new york who was asked to go with the fbi to authenticate a rubens that had been stolen but it was a sting operation so they had to pretend like they weren’t the fbi, that they were some private buyer about to pay $3.5 million for it, and the fbi was like “this is a VERY delicate operation because you never know how they will react to what you have to say so let the agent do all of the talking, don’t say a word to anyone just nod if it’s the rubens, the last operation we did the guy in your position got shot because things went wrong in a second” and then it cuts to the professor’s interview and he says “i wasn’t going to fly down to miami to be a part of an undercover fbi sting operation to handle what could be rubens’s aurora and just NOT say anything. i was gonna have to ad lib a little” and then he tells the interviewer that when he & the fbi agent got to the hotel while he was examining the painting he started lecturing the other people, first on how badly they had wrapped it, and then about like how it had been painted, the history of it, what the subject was and what she was doing, etc etc, and he was like “i hadn’t taught a class on rubens in 15 years, so for me it was like being back in the classroom except my students couldn’t leave” 

at one point during the deal the professor turned to the woman selling it and he said “isn’t this just the most beautiful rubens you’ve ever seen outside of a museum?” (because the fbi had told him earlier that this piece had been stolen from a museum) and THEN he said “where on earth did you get it from?” and the group of people the woman had with her was like taxidermy-fox.png but the woman was like “inheritance” can you IMAGINE the fbi agent about to have a fucking aneurysm when this random guy you’ve brought in just to nod if it’s the right painting not only starts giving an impromptu lecture but then he asks how they got it

sea-rogue:

theconcealedweapon:

misaimed-archer:

Question: Do boys and girls even mature at difffered rates?

Only when it’s convenient for the people saying it, like when they’re trying to justify being attracted to teenage girls or not holding boys accountable for being creeps.

Physically: yes, ON AVERAGE, girls start puberty earlier, but it’s a case of overlapping distrubutions. The /mean/ starting age is earlier for girls than the /mean/ age for boys, but that leaves a LOT of room for overlap.

Mentally: no, society just expects many of the traits associated with maturity (things like poise, compassion, calm and thoughtful responses to stimuli) from girls LONG before it expects them from boys, if it ever expects it from them at all. Girls aren’t given a choice but to perform having “matured faster,” often to their own detriment.

omgkatsudonplease:

caffeinewitchcraft:

sassy-un-classy:

lifeandlovesofemmalinethewriter:

kjsama:

thlayli-rah:

snapdreygon:

andercas:

I feel like when you’re writing, organizing chapters and dialogue is easy

but jfc, the amount of time it takes to constantly keep people moving and make sure they’re in the right spaces and trying to come up with wording for it is always such a shock. 

Like, fuck, I made you pick up a coffee cup, you need to put it down at some point. also I can’t remember what I dressed you in, can you push up your sleeves? I don’t remember if you even have your shirt on.

and YOU. YOU OVER THERE, you got out of your chair earlier, but did you come back yet? Are you coming back? Where did you even go and why’d you get up? Fuck, I can’t make you sit down again already, you just stood up, go…over there. go get more coffee. Did you bring your mug with you? fine. bring the pot to the table and—wait, wasn’t the coffee pot already over here? shit, hold on, I need to go back and re-read and re-write

this is the most relevant thing i have ever read.

I think one of the most wild things as a writer is the sensation that you’re not actually directing your characters– they’re sort of directing themselves, and you’re scrambling around attempting to copy down whatever it was that they just did, but they don’t wait for you to finish copying. They just keep walking and talking and moving around and existing of their own volition and at some point you look up and you’re like “WHOA OKAY EVERYBODY BACK THE FUCK UP WHERE ARE WE”

It’s kind of like trying to write sheet music for an orchestra while it’s playing

#thatwritinglife

@cats-galactic @kyleandthekids

It’s kind of like trying to write sheet music for an orchestra while it’s playing 

Oh my god its in words

“Listen,” my main character says reasonably, “I’m not just gonna sit still while he goes on spouting that nonsense.”

I, the writer, frantically scribble down a rough map and route. “No, obvious now, but I still have to write the part where he yells–”

“I’M BEING IGNORED,” the antagonist yells and begins to flap his arms. “LOOK I AM ALSO DYNAMIC.”

“Whoa there,” the main character says mildly and begins to do squats. They pull out a weapon. “Take a look at this escalation!”

“No!” I cry, “he took your gun, like, five minutes ago–”

“Second gun,” the main character says and cocks it. Pauses. “Was I on a low squat or a high one just now?”

“HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN BLOWING RASPBERRIES?” the antagonist wants to know, still spinning.

“When did you start spinning?” I ask in despair.

There is no escape.

Sometimes it feels like I am a hollywood director and the characters are particular rowdy cats

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